Oh, What Shall We Do with a Drunken Builder?

...early in the morning?

In keeping with the strange artifacts that have emerged from our kitchen, we add these bottles.

That's eight (count 'em!) bottles of Muscat wine. Empty, you'll note. All eight were hidden in the ceiling, lying on their sides, with the caps screwed back on. Four were grouped in one place and the other four huddled together across the room.

Now, I'm no expert, but I reckon it only takes a day, maybe two, to plaster a 12x12 room. So did this guy (or guys) really go through eight bottles of cheap wine in one day? While working??!!

Unlike the Look magazine "time capsule," which was obviously meant to be discovered by future generations, these were probably being hidden from the boss/homeowner. No wonder the ceiling came down so easily.

The Prisoner of Hart Mansion

We found this lady locked inside the kitchen walls.

I don't know how long she's been here -- or why -- but I'm guessing she's original to the house. The picture appears to have been carefully cut from a magazine. The back side appears to be from the middle of an article or an advertisement on the opposite page.

We've released her from her confinement and placed her carefully with the 1967 Look magazine and other artifacts as they emerge from the kitchen. Welcome back to Pacific Grove, whoever you are.

Four Floors Down

Q: When does a three-story house have four floors?

A: When it's in your kitchen.

Don't get it? Then you haven't seen this kitchen. Kathy single-handedly removed all the green ceramic tile, which made a big mess and made the floor almost an inch lower.

Under the tile was a stranded-wood veneer that had been painted green to match the old cabinets. For for awhile, at least, the kitchen had a green-painted wood floor. Cute.

Under that was checkered linoleum. We peeled that up, but it left a residue of sticky felt backing. Turns out that if you pour water on it and let it soak for 15-20 minutes, the felt comes up pretty easily. (Messy, but easy.)

And under that is a floor of 6" redwood planks. We think that's the bottom layer, but we can't be sure until we pry up a board or drill a small hole through one. Either way, that's four layers of flooring in one room. Sheesh.

Say Hello, Kathy

Meet Kathy.

Kathy is removing ceramic floor tile.

It's difficult to remove. Kathy is working hard.

This is Kathy working hard.

Kathy doesn't like to have her picture taken.

Go back to work, Kathy. There are more tiles still to go.

A Lath a Minute

Imagine coming home from work to find that your non-English-speaking contractors have finished demolishing your kitchen. Except you wanted them to do the bathroom.

Okay, so that didn't happen. We really did want to demo the kitchen, and by golly, it's demolished. We took out the cabinets earlier and now it's just down to stripping the walls down to bare studs. Here's what it looks like in progress.

I worked on the plaster walls while Kathy removed green ceramic tiles from the floor. Honestly, I had the easy part. Those tiles are stuck on there, and prying them off one by one with a crowbar is a recipe for backache.

The walls are almost all original plaster and lath, as you can see. It's surprisingly easy -- and therapeutic -- to remove. First, you hit the plaster several times with any handy, massive object. A sledgehammer works well, but a crowbar, claw hammer, or fist can be used in a pinch. Then just scrape the cracked plaster off. Now you're ready to remove the lath work, which is also easy and fun. Grab one and yank. Repeat several hundred times. You get the idea.

The only downside is the dust. A lot of dust. I mean, really, a lot of dust. Lots of dust.

Time Capsule!

How cool. Someone left us a time capsule!

Removing the last bits of rotted wood in the corner of the kitchen, I came across this: a short little platform with the top boards painted green. There's no good reason for it to be there, unless maybe the builders had planned to construct all the base cabinets this way but changed their minds.

Prying off one of the boards, I saw something underneath.

It's a magazine! Carefully placed face-down and square to the cabinet was this February 7, 1967 issue of Look magazine. The address label on the front cover says Steven Radke, with this address. So we know these cabinets weren't built before that date.

How cool. We haven't opened the magazine yet. We just set it aside, in a safe place.

Thanks, Steven.

Oops. My Kitchen Fell Down.

Here's the detritus from the kitchen, doing its best to cling to the ground. Gravity is my friend. As I pry stuff off the ceiling, floor, walls, neighboring rooms, etc. I just lob it over the second-floor stairs and watch it sail ever-so-not-gracefully downward, to land with a satisfying WHANG!

One kitchen, in kit form.