Venting Anger

I hate vents. One of the basics you learn in Plumbing 101 is that all drain pipes need a vent pipe. Basically, for the water to run out of your sink (or bathtub, or toilet, etc...) air needs to take its place. Without a way for the air to get in, the water will get "stuck" in the pipe and drain slowly, if at all. It'll also make a gurgling noise, like pouring soda out of a bottle.

Anyway, real plumbers know this and they design houses accordingly. At least, nowadays they do. Back in 1893... not so much.

One of the bathrooms downstairs is not original, and was probably added sometime in the 1930s. When the plumbing was added for the sink and the toilet, there was nowhere to put the mandatory vent pipe, so they stuck it on the outside of the house.

Nothing yells "retrofit" like plumbing on the outside of a building. And because vent pipes have to extend all the way to above the roof line, that meant a three-story flagpole (with a kink in it) broadcasting their poor planning. I hated it.

So let's see... as long as we're rejiggering the plumbing anyway... yeah, that'll work.

The five most expensive words in remodeling are, "as long as we're here..."

Nevertheless, we called Marc the plumber back for one last fix. "As long as you're here, Marc, why don't we eliminate that %&@$# vent line?" So Marc craftily tapped into his brand new handiwork and merged the bathroom vent into the other new work, almost before the cement had even dried. Result: no external vent pipe. Jim is very happy.

The only downside is that Marc got to remove the offending pipe himself. When I wasn't looking, he set up a ladder and dismantled three stories' worth of pipe. He grinned and said that was partial payment for cutting into his brand new lines. He knew how much I hated that old thing.

True to form, part of the pipe was iron (and very heavy) and part was ABS plastic. I'm guessing that the plastic bit was replacement for an iron section that either rusted out or fell over in a storm.

Die, you gravy-sucking pig.