Fight the Supression!

Raise your fist and yell, brother! We're being suppressed!

Oh, wait, no. This is actually a good thing. The fire-suppression system in the commercial kitchen was not up to modern standards. Nope. In fact, when I called the first expert to come out and look at it, he said he'd never seen one like this before. "Maybe my boss has seen one of these, but I dunno..."

Not words that inspire confidence.

Still, we weren't eager to buy a new fire system just for the fun of it, so we got a second opinion from the fire department, but they also shook their heads. That's a definite no, then.

Got three quotes from installers, picked the middle one, and got started. The old fire system had to come out first, which took a day and a half, and the new one went in, which took only half a day. The installer told me that he was frankly scared of removing the old system. Seems the big extinguisher bottle was on a hair trigger, and he was afraid that shaking it or tampering with the hardware would set it off, flooding the kitchen (and his face) with cold fire-extinguisher spray. He was happy to finally get it down off the wall, out of the house, and safely into his truck.

To me, the new system looks like a shinier version of the old system, but I'm not an expert. The law says that commercial food-preparation facilities must have a metal hood vent that extends a certain distance beyond the cooking surface(s). We had cleverly purchased our range to fit under the hood, thus complying with the regulations. But you also need a certain number of extinguisher nozzles pointed down onto the cooktop (so many per burner), and more nozzles pointed up into the vent hood, in case the fire goes up the chimney. The old fire-suppression system failed on both counts.

You trigger the system by pulling the big red handle mounted on the wall. The rules say the handle must be more than 6 feet away from the cooktop, but less than than 12 feet away. I think the idea is that you want it far enough away that it's not engulfed in the flames, but not so far away that it's hard to reach. The handle also must be a certain distance from the floor: high enough that kids don't play with it, but low enough that short people can pull it. It's a tricky game.

Pull the handle and -- whoosh! -- the system dumps an entire fire extinguisher bottle all over your cooktop and up the vent. There's no stopping it; it's an all-or-nothing deal, and it costs about $150 to refill and re-arm the system. I suspect that's where the installers make some of their money.

There's also a fusible link up inside the hood vent. If it gets hot enough to melt, it sets off the system without needing to pull the handle.

FYI, the nozzles are typically filled with Vaseline to prevent grease and dust from clogging them up. The red plastic caps then keep the Vaseline from dripping out (and into your food).

After installation, you do what's called "the balloon test." They tie party balloons over all the nozzles, put in a special dummy fire extinguisher bottle, and pull the handle. (They let me pull it.) Whoosh! If all the balloons fill up with compressed gas, you know the system is working. It's kind of festive.

Now we have to demonstrate it in front of the fire department to show them that the system works. So more balloons. Maybe I'll bring party hats.